Thursday, April 03, 2003
-tears-
Mama died yesterday at 6 plus in the morning. Man, I'm starting to miss her presence. But then again, I'm happy for her...
We knelt down when the "corps-dressers" came to take mama away. And at the end of the row, stood korkor Anthony. He cried alot and he held onto the stretcher when it went pass him. I thought this would only happen in drama-series. But, well it happened at home this time. After that, I hid in the room, with a bun in my hand. Crying. Then kor came into the room to take something. And after the walked out, he stomped back again, he pointed a finger at me and said, "Mama xiang shiork le..." it meant, "Mama favours you the most..." Man, I couldn't help the tears running down my cheeks.
In the afternoon, my mum and I went to the church to offer masses. Then we went to the Adoration Room. There, we prayed the Adoration Prayer according to what's written in the book. And we came across Mt 7:7-9: "Ask and you shall recieve; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks will recieve, and anyone who seeks will find, and the door will be opened to him who knocks." So, I prayed, and I asked God to take mama's soul to heaven and spare her from purgatory.
Just before dinner, as we sat down at the tables placed outside, a rainbow stretched right across the entire St Anne's Church! As we all know, the rainbow is a symbol of the promise of God. Gosh!! At once I knew that God had answered my prayer. Infact, He made another rainbow next to the one that stretched across the church, to reassure me that mama has reached heaven already. =) I'm so glad that she has...
And guess what? When I just learnt howda talk, mama asked for lucky numbers and I gave her the numbers "5532". The miracle here is, on her Death Cirtificate, her serial number is "553266"!! Did you see that!? Argh... man... this is all so coincidental!
I hope I woudn't be overly upset on the day of cremation... I'm really not prepared for it... at all.
=death may not be the end, it's just the beginning of eternal life=
the dead one, 09:58.
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Faye just motivated me to do well. I'm gonna study tonight.
the dead one, 07:37.
*Still dancing...* Hehe...man, am I a music-freak or what? I can't stop dancing when an upbeat song plays! Haha... sheesh... I would die to have a concert of my own!! Haha... best with jiejie... we'll be dancing the coolest dances on Earth and singing the BEST songs we've composed!! Haha... then we'd have our back-up singers... so on... hehe, when will that day be?? Argh...
Umm... well, seems like I didn't do alot of revision today and I'm quite upset abt it. I think I better stay up and complete it. Tml will be HW day, I haven't touched on a single piece of HW!! Geez... I better start warning myself not to slack... gotta get into triple science, dear! Haa... phsychotic-me... maybe I should ground myself from all shopping-sprees till streaming is over... ahh, but that'll never happen! I can't even resist a 10min break after 30min of studying! =)
Whoa, whoa, whoa!! So many people are getting blogs now! Haha, and they are all inspired by me... haha! Isn't that cool or what? Tell me people!! I can't hear you!!? Haha... nonsense... full of shit for the whole day... lalala... oh well, you'll ask for more of this when you're bored. Wahaha!!
=I never look before I leap=
the dead one, 03:55.
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
Ya know what? I'm so crazy over the song "Lord of the Dance"... you have no idea how exciting it is to hear the song building up the atmosphere! Oh man... you guys really gotta hear it. It's my fave classical piece, I tell ya! Apart from piano pieces. Haha, man... this piece is making me skip and dance around the house like a phsycho! Lalala... maybe I should go pick up latin-folk dance. Haa!! Or maybe, I should migrate to the Alps or something!! Haha... and dance with those old-folks!! Oh man... kk, I'm going insane...
Haa... I've got LovingHurts to check on how can I add the song as my background music for the blog!! I hope he's able to get it. I'm dying to get it down!! Hehe, can you imagine?? Man... you peepx will be dancing too!! Haha... geez... I've been prancing around the hall for gawd knows how long.
Ahh... after adding the piece, I'll prolly hafta start revising Geography. Then maybe, come in and do my guestbook tonight. If I have done all the revision on Geog. Which is... quite impossible, but then again, everything is possible with GOD!! Haa...
Oh man, bad news again!! I can't go for confession this Friday cause there'll be NO penitential services till next week!! Then I'll hafta wait till Monday before Matong tells me if we're going on Thursday or Friday. Sigh... SARS!! That evil-thing. Ah well, ya know what? It doesn't matter when I go for confession, cause I can always start being good before confessing all my nasty sins. -WiNkZ- Haa... man... I'm so bored! I better get going now... to do my revision... tsk tsk... so slow with it!
=life begins only when you start loving=
the dead one, 20:58.
Monday, March 31, 2003
Damn! My friend just told me he saw some... "things". If you know what I'm referring to. I'm totally freaked! ARGH! But fortunately, the Holy Bible has been a source of comfort to me. To help me calm myself down in such a short time. I'm really sorry that I had to cut him off while he was trying to confide in me. But I couldn't hear another word from him. I'm not avoiding him, as long as he won't tell me another word abt the incident. Anwz, here's what I read in Bible and it's exactly what I thought it was that "shook me":
"You are doomed you sinful nation, you corrupt and evil people! Your sins drag you down! You have rejected the Lord, the holy God of Israel, and have turned your backs on Him. Why do you keep rebelling? Do you want to be punished even more? Israel, your head is already covered with wounds, and your heart and mind are sick. From head to foot there is no healthy spot on your body. You are covered with bruises and sores and open wounds. Your wounds have no be cleaned or bandaged. No medicine has been put on them." - Isaiah:1:4-6
The actual thing was from Isaiah:1-20. Yeah... God reprimanded me.
Oh, and I didn't go for confessions today cause Matong couldn't make it today... it's all because of teh SARS virus. Damn. Ah well, I pray that everything will be back to normal by next week. It's long enough... *sigh* And I found out that, nothing and no one can be my source of comfort but God. He gave me the Bible and the Rosary to pray... PRAISE THE LORD! *I need You...*
=the Lord is my Shepherd, there is nothing I shall want=
Thought for the Day
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He listens.
He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose ..your heart.
Face it, friend-He is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun
without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for
the tears, and light for the way.
the dead one, 05:14.
Sunday, March 30, 2003
Ahh... MORNING! Man... I'm going for confession this evening! I can't wait! Haa... oh man, I'm like so sticky and itchy all over... what's wrong with me?! Argh... maybe I've caught some virus... haha, talk nonsense. Anwz, hope I won't itch the whole day... or I'll be so damn irritable.
Oh, btw... ct2 is just next week!! Argh... better make an effort to go back to school to get my books today or tomorrow... damn, all the way back to school? Argh... I hope it's virus FREE. Haha... nah, just kidding. I just pray that it's gonna be open man... or I'll be in deep shit. Prolly will hafta go to the popular bookstore to borrow the books on sale to revise... like I'd do that? Hee... and... oh, Natatsha just asked me to go along with her to get her books... ahh... so nice!! Hehe... lalala... but it seems like I can't go with her cause she's going before noon... look at the time now?! It's almost 10am... sigh... then I'll hafta go on my own... *sobx*
the dead one, 17:51.
Mass was so inspiring! Ok, maybe not... maybe it's because I "heard" God speaking into my heart at mass. And besides that, despite all that precautions we hadda take due to SARS, I didn't feel so upset about it. Hee... infact, I felt more touched than I ever was, at a Sunday mass! Ha... ... the lady who sat on my left was an Indian... she sounded so graceful when she said all the creeds! Oh man! And when she sings, she sounded like and angel seated next to me! Argh... she somehow reminded me of Mother Teresa. Haha... I know, it sounds crazy but that was exactly what I thought.
The reading today tells us that God doesn't condemn His people. It is US who condemn OURSELVES. Aww man... it is so true!! And the Priest said, "LOVE causes us to GIVE." Just like Jesus, He LOVES us so much that He was willing to GIVE His life to save us. In the sense, He sacrificed for us. At that moment, I felt a gush of unworthiness coming over me. I almost cried! Then I saw a banner in the church, "Come follow me with all your heart" something like that... I hope I got it right! Haha... ok...ok... I'm gonna sign off with my fave quote I heard in mass today... ha... what a day... =) Can't wait for confession tml~ so excited to confess and start anew again! Hehe...
=for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but to save the world through Him - John:3:16=
the dead one, 04:54.
