Saturday, October 04, 2003
feelin rather mixed up at the moment. *shruggs*
the pnw was alright and I sorta reflected alittle. but what's really motivating me now is that same old feelin when I saw her. oh well, maybe not soo much of her. I saw him too! it's like, my mind flashes back to the past and got my soul stuck back then. I dont wanna lose myself again but it's a prayer that hasnt been answered. perhaps, it's not meant to be. nobody gets whatever he/she wants, neither will I. but why do I feel that there's still a chance? why is there smth at the back of my head telling me that it isnt over? gawsh. there I go again! havent I told myself that it's over? havent I already given up and finally moved on? and havent I had enough? see, I have so many queries ringing in my mind but none of them has an answer to it. well, so be it. if it isn't meant to be, love doesnt die. I'll live.
gone back to the upper room and thought about the pnw that will be happening at the end of the yr. then I started to miss jie soo much! sometimes, I feel so impatient that my stomach cringes. I often visualize the scene when she walks out of the arrival hall. I can imagine myself running to her and giving her the biggest huggabug I've ever given. I've thought abt how much I've grown to love her, and it's not a kinda bond that can be broken at all. in fact, it's always been there and it has only grown stronger. nth can come between us. cos she's an angel God has sent to me, to walk with me through the days of my life till my very last breath. and I will give up everythig for my angel.
love ya so much jie jie! *tears*
Thank You
Verse
Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say
Thank You Lord just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me
Chorus
Here I am with all I am
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you
Verse
I could have died in my sin but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
My Jesus, words cannot explain
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed mercy
Chorus
I wanna say thank you for the sun
I wanna say thank you for the rain
Everything You do is beautiful
I'm so grateful for Your love
Copyright/Label: Label: EMD/CHORDANT ©2001
---
...have you met your angel yet?
the dead one, 08:11.
Friday, October 03, 2003
Psalm 91
Lincoln Brewster
© 2000 Integrity’s Praise! Music/BMI
Verse1
I won’t be afraid anymore
Of the terrors by night
Or the arrow that flies by day
And though a thousand may fall at my side
And though ten thousand may fall
In Him I’ll put all my trust
Chorus
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide in the shadow
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide in the shadow
Verse2
I will hide in Your wings always
Your angels stand by to keep me in all my ways
And though a thousand may fall at my side
I will say in Him I trust
Chorus
And though a thousand may fall at my side
And though ten thousand may fall
I will say of the Lord
That in Him I put all my trust
---
it's in one of the cds jie has burnt for me! beautiful. everytime it plays, I have a total possitive outlook of my surrounding. and well, ya can say that it sets my mind and soul at ease. :) each time I get down to one of those valleys, I'd think fo what matong says, "you're not at peace". that's when I gotta settle down and put things right. and infact, that's the only time when I realize how things get off course.
btw, laoshi was telling dyan and I that angels are made servants for human. and we'll nvr become angels.
but I want to be one! Jesus said, "ask and you shall recieve." so I'll ask him tonight. and he'll make me an angel. :) yay!
... I'm not exhausted yet. but when I am, I know my cup will be filled again.
alleluia.
the dead one, 02:01.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
another day closer to the finals, and I know that I'm not ready at all. although it seems like I've done quite abit, it's not enough to get me to a good double science class! I've been feeling lethargic everyday! tell me how drastic can this dilemma get. I dont wanna fall sick because of lack of sleep. yet, I've got too much to do! argh. craB` would know exactly how I feel cos I know, she's feeling it too. it's no wonder why she gets so moody these days. blah! just as the crucial period is here, my mind keeps running wild. like, I would start thinking about stuff that wouldnt matter at all. like, the past, my mistakes or how things could have been. yeah, I know it doesnt matter to me nor anyone now, but it just keep poppin' in my head! I gotta start thinking of what will happen if I dont get my arse to a combi I wanna take. disaster!
I had been msging that asshole since morng. wonder why I did that! it's a very stupid move to make, I feel. it's like, having a conversation with "it" is only a waste of my time that could have been spent on having a more intellectual conversation. blah! it thinks and converses like a 3 yr old when it's probably, already in it's 20s? how could I have held a conversation with that bodoh for more almost the entire day? it's as if I've brought myself down to it's level of mind set. argh!
I know, that was utterly arrogant of me to put that down, but I just can't face it that I've been msging a fool. but of cos, I'm not that brainy as it may seem from the above! sigh what am I aiming at?
tml's the last day of lessons before the "battle" begins. and as of today, there are still rodents partying at classes. sometimes I wonder why dont they scram their butts outta class and make the hell lotta noise for all they care? the amount of noise pollution given off from their gaps are enough to make anyone deaf. and that's beside the point. havent they heard of noise pollution IS a factor of stress? yeahs. stress leads to many other phsychological effects to a human, like me. believe it or not. in no time at all, I'll hafta be sent for an anger management course. otherwise, I'll become schizophrenic.
I havent been especially pleased with myself today. nor anyone else.
the dead one, 01:12.
Monday, September 29, 2003
Sunday, 28th September
Forbidden City: PORTRAIT OF AN EMPRESS
omg.omg.omg.omg. my eyes were focused on the stage the whole time! it was as if I was reading the empress's journal. 5 stars! I never knew that kit chan could sing with such power in her voice and she acted really well. the aged empress was really good too. she's got the husky ah ma voice that makes me give her the respect and sends chills down my spine when she blows her top. hehe hossan leong rawks! mann, whenever he comes on stage, you can clearly hear the outburst of laughters, chuckles and giggles! not only can he sing well, he brings a light-hearted mood to the scene! gawsh. my fave part was when he was telling the other record keeper what to write. haha! so farnie. he spelled the HYPY and told him to write in chinese. lalala. I wanna watch it again can?! *screams* lol it's so nice! jenifer and I placed our orders for the OSTs already. I can't wait to get them! :D ahhh! when will I get it? next month? I can't wait that long... getting impatient... hehe!
anw, before the show, we're hanging around suntec and around esplanade. I wanted to buy so many things! like, the slippers we saw, the toe ring and the black top! *screams* so my-style! so pretty, gothic and sexy! haha blah blah blah... we had pasta fresca too! I had tortellina again! haha... with tomato base+bacon+onions! :d eee so nice! I can't wait for jie to return and we can go try the seafood zuppe. hahaha! delicious. yummy. *screams* hehe... madness... yeahs, we sat by the bay and saw this tiniwini li'l star. so bright loh. haha! and the moon was at the other end. stars and moon dont go together, do they? haha ok, that didnt make any sense. blah blah blah...
TODAY
nth much happened.
lao shi said he saw jen and I at suntec. *pengs*
yeahs, and for the empteenth time, we walked in the rain... the whole place was flooded somemore. jenifer was seriously lacking sleep! I think she was rather cranky today? haha and for the FIRST TIME, she was singing on the bus when we're on our way home! haha but of cos, there's nth wrong with that cos I sang along too. but we're not singing the same song actually. =X she was listening and singing along to what she had in her discman while I was singing to what I have in mine. hehe think we both sounded farnie singing different songs aye? if I hadn't mistaken, the guy infront was about to turn around and check us out. like, what's with those girls? are they trying to destress? hehe...
HEADLINES
I've got my HP back! yay... :D I missed it so much! *muarks* hehe... that' all for tday...
SCRAM!!!
the dead one, 03:04.
