Thursday, December 04, 2003
*squeels: eeeouch!* I thought the pain was bearable. but it's not! my lower-lip feels as if it's torn into two. now I know what it means to put salt on wound. *faints* it hurts more than the kinda mental torment I've gone through many nights. *clutches on the table edge* I can't take it anymore. somebody save me! I wonder if it's healing my ulcer at all. I've been drinking lotssa water and taking lotssa grapes. but it seems like it's invading even more of my lip! *sobs*
the dead one, 04:46.
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
I'm forgotten!
the dead one, 21:05.
Monday, December 01, 2003
there is always a time when somebody will feel the distance between everyone around him/her. and at this pivot of time, the fear transforms into jealousy like a spark of fire. I'm not sure of how the change occurs but it happens sooner than you'd expect it. surely we know that jealousy shouldnt exist in true love. only because, it's purely heartfelt and unconditional. on the other hand, jealousy exists in hate and anguish, where both causes it to grow amongst the opponents. this trail of emotions are inevitable once they start. it chants in my head and drowns every other sound trying to enter into my mind. when it finally takes over, it rules as me. it takes over my mind for just that moment. yes. only a moment. and after it departs from me, I'm only left with the rubble.
what I hafta learn is to recognise what true love is. with true love, there is unconditional: care and concern, trust, giving, support, responsibilities and etc. lacking of any factor would be a false. those are simple virtues we're taught as part of our character building but knowing how it feels like to be loved isnt everything. knowing how to spread the love is.
the dead one, 07:47.
Sunday, November 30, 2003
just wanna say a prayer for all those who are takin their math re-test taday.
dear Jesus, pls calm their minds to be able to hear your soft promptings. help them to rmbr the formulars and to be less careless in their work. thankew sho much! AMEN.
the dead one, 17:34.
this post has nth to do with "that thing" earlier on.
I cant believe all these! from the day I knew you, and up till now, you've been totally patient and kind despite my paranoic behaviour. people tell me you simply hate me and I prolly think you do too. but how can you be soo kind and yet seem to be pushing me away at the same time? it's gotta be only ONE thing that you feel, right? you just leave me soo blinded in "it" and I havent budged abit.
the dead one, 08:16.
